To wOrk in CoRpo aNd dOn’t bEcoMe cRazY.
How to be a good interlocutor, and coherent leader, as well.
Every day we meet plenty of different people, who want to be seen, and heard even they haven’t any interesting and important perceptions. We are tired, because rivers of information still shoot the rapids of our neurons nets. We lose confidence in what is necessary, and what is a rubbish out of all the ideas. We lose something else; ability to listen, and our empathy. One should be selective in this ocean of variety. Not too many people are patient, and have the ability of listening to long stories, and figuring out the clue of problems, most important plots afterwards. Fewer of us are able to take into account more than several opinions. We are restive and shallow. Why? I think, because not many of us can consciously conduct a conversation.
In my opinion, the first step in changing bad conversation behaviors, is trying to get to know what your partner thinks about the issue. Simple? Maybe it is, but how often have you heard this question this week? How often did you ask about your interlocutors’ opinions? I’m not good at it! Really!
I also have a problem with that.
The goal of good understanding is prewriting our thoughts before conversation, sketching issues in our brains. Next, we need to explain our point of view with not too many words, directly and clearly. It is the first step. Easy to explain, but I know how difficult to provide. Secondly it is crucial to recognize, and listen without cutting in, and interrupting. Just listening. Surprisingly, how many interesting things could generate from taking into consideration diverse points of view. In real life we can meet an interlocutor like that rather rarely, if at all. Sometimes it seems incomprehensible, how we are still together in our companies, families, partnerships end other units, if nobody wants to recognize each other’s needs, thoughts and goals. It’s sad. This is why only a few people are good interlocutors, we like to talk to.
But it isn’t the end of this affair. There are third, and fourth steps, which lead us to be good and coherent bosses. What are these steps? Awareness is the key to get to know them.
Our friends, wives, husbands, children, employees have their experiences, thoughts, fears, and sometimes are lost in the forest full of wolves. Now, I want to concentrate only on relationships between employees and fellows from work. One of the wolves we are afraid of is a budget, the second one, is our coworkers, next could be thoughts about our families and one of biggest is fear of boss. Never mind how open and gentle are bosses for their people, they are still a bosses. Don’t forget about it as a boss.
Your workers need your time, and help, and you have to come together with them, but first you have to listen to their problems, join them, and point out the way of fixing it up. While they talk to you, you can only listen, and write down the most important thoughts. You may prewrite your response.
When you are sure that, if your interlocutor completed their speech, you have to resume key points from it, to be certain, everything is clear to you. You have to believe each other and be convinced that this team effort will bring a solution. Team effort, and team work are the keys to handle many complicated problems. Sometimes it is not expected from you to manage the problems by yourself, without team’s help. We all have our backgrounds, life lessons, and feelings to share, which can concern you, and your problems. It’s obvious that you are obligated to involve your team to be efficient, throught the same process.
The way to improvement is not easy, and leads through mindfulness, and empathy. Magnificent words, aren’t they? But what it means in practice, is that you should really consider what your friends speak to you. Or better still, you have to try to find something about a person you could meet. We usually have not enough time for it, and we remind ourselves about it when it’s too late. And one more question; how consciously do you listen to your interlocutors when you are in front of them? It’s crucial to take a commitment for yourself to a eradicate bad communication behaviors and commit people you work together, or live with, to avoid traps of misunderstanding.
Summarizing; speak directly, and concisely, be straight forward and your discussion will never fall down. The effects will be noticeable soon.
Afraid about being dismissed.
People who consciously chose their job, rather like it. Of course sometimes it’s hard to weak up early in the morning, and you can see obstacles, especially with your annoying bosses. There is a time when you are able to quit a job without reflection. If you have „blue devils” like this, don’t retreat! But if you are committed to your work you can be afraid of being dismissed. You may think; there are many promising applicants for my position. You are right. It’s true.
How can you deal with this pressure? You can form an alliance with many managers like you.
On popular web sites e.g. LinkedIn you can look for advice, but I think you can’t find a solution to this problem. Unfortunately one thing is clear, professional integrity isn’t a cornerstone of bosses of big companies. There could be, but don’t count on it. You can accuse them of it, but they are addicted on their bosses opinion, bull or bear market, shareholders who need dividend payment and sometimes your career depends on their whims.
Thereby if you are top manager you are subject to dismissal anytime, because you have to decide in many tasks, give a lot of answers to your employers and point ways to go ahead. Prices retreat because your competitors are ready to beat. There are not applications for sellers work at your stores. Salaries which you can pay aren’t satisfying for old and experienced workers. Sometimes you could be successful, but the risk of bad decision is huge. Just ask yourself; do you need relief of this horrible thoughts of dismissal? Of course, but it is important to understand what is more valuable, your work or you, for yourself.
What conclusion can we draw from it? You should be ready for dismissal, forwarding your CV by mail and to meet with new challenge. Yes you do. Every work it’s only work, and isn’t sense of your life. Every work is only a part of your experience. Even you will be on relief, that’s no problem. It’s good time to self-study. Every new skill will bring you a dividend.
OuR haBits, our ChoiCes.
Boats, anchors and singing mermaids.
Scientists said that man wasn’t destined to create stabil, permanent systems and long term relationship with one woman. It’s because thousand years of evolution had given men adjustment to spread their genes before society established marriage. Thus, we are still looking for singing mermaids at a distance, sometimes beyond our grasp. It’s understandable. Oppositely to women behaviour. We agree of that, years of patriarchate bring division about sex parts. Many of free proffesions were assignet to men, e.g. traveller, explorer Christopher Collumbus, researcher Charles Darwin, conquistador Francisco Pizarro and warriors like Conan the Barbarian.
Of course, nowadays we are living in changed world, when men and women have the same claims to choose ways of life, professions, and social gender role. But is it easy to be free in our life? I guess, no.
Maybe being free is not for everyone?
At first more of us are not able to abandon our parents, and friends. We can not break free illusion of safety. Our ancestors were more brave and uncompromising. They knew hard live as teenagers. I guess, they felt intensively taste and smell of live, true love, adventures. I would have been wrong if I said it wasn’t deadly dangerous. But every passion seems to be worth sacrifice, especially fight for love. Isn’t it.
When you abandon swimming along the shores, and anchorage you can become ship with white sails. Take care… Or just be yourself!
Of course it isn’t easy. We recognised it faster then we expect. We became accustomed to places and people. Day by day our anchors grapple harder and harder on the stones and in weeds. However world around us could be nasty, it’s well knowing and better than something unidentified. When our life is fortunate we have really problem.
Stabilization attract us. Family, house with garden, good work and meetings with friends; who don’t need it? Many of us might be upset if they don’t achieve it. Respectable participant race of fame should have permanent place of living, wife and children. Is it gives you really goal result?
We dream about free but end up in prison of our customs.
We had a chance to break after graduation. We faced their future as intern of destiny. Life is like a shopping without complaints, but knowledge we received can be invaluable. There are plenty of web sides about getting on with problems obtained on one click, but in the middle of nowhere, when we plugged into, we can end up on shallows. Surprisingly bad experiences are more valuable then happy days. After crying and imprecating we can see, there was new lesson, background to rest of our life. We must be ready for it!
Liberty doesn’t exist without self-responsibility. It’s not easy to create something by ourselves without support.
I respect people who quit their work in companies and start their own businesses, or work as freelancers without experience. Work in big company can be really gin trap. Steady activity, duties, good and regular salary, facilities and other benefits lull you to sleep, and you can be very active and engaged, you are more and more addicted and unable to carry out change. Researchers said that; after dismissal from work this fully concerned managers, were unable to fix their life more often than lumps. Interesting, isn’t it?
Second chance to get free is after graduation of your children. You have to lay down clearly principles to your children even if you love them. It’s not easy to get it, you have your own life, and low to life as you wish through to your children. It concerns me. I think it would be really test for us.
But it would be plot to follow-on… So, see you soon.